Bitch puff puff pass
by Wolflover007
Summary: Maura comes home and spends an interesting night with Cailin. This story is supposed to be silly so please don't take it very seriously. OCC/AU! Post 4x04 but no major spoilers. Yeah Das It.


**A/N: I have never done weed so I don't know what it's like so this may be wrong. This is also very out of character, so deal with it.**

**THIS IS MADE TO BE A JOKE. DON'T TAKE IT SERIOUSLY. IF YOU DON'T LIKE IT, DON'T READ IT. IT IS A JOKE/AU/PARODY. RELAX A LITTLE.**

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><p>Maura entered her house after a long day of work. She passed on drinks with Jane but Jane was fine with it. Maura played with bass for a little bit then poured herself a glass of wine. She settled on the couch to watch TV but something didn't feel right. She went upstairs and smelled it. She growled and went to the guest room. Loud music played out of the walls.<p>

_She's going to lose her hearing. I thought I told her that._ Maura thought.

"Cailin." Maura said while knocking. No response but the music continued to play.

"Cailin! Open the door." Maura yelled. There was still no response.

_Ok we'll do it your way. _

Maura cracked her knuckles and punched the door in. Cailin straighten up.

"What in the fuck!?" Maura yelled.

"Maura, you're home early." Cailin said. She prayed Maura wouldn't notice the smell. She didn't have a lot.

"Let's go Cailin." Maura said. Cailin's hope was smashed when she felt Maura grab her collar and drag her downstairs. Maura threw her on the couch. _Oh shit I really pissed her off _Cailin thought. Next thing she knew she felt Maura's hands on her. She was too scared to move. Maura found what she wanted and held it in front of Cailin.

"Sorry Maura, I would lie but it'll make it worse." Cailin said submissively. Maura sat down next to Cailin and stroked her face softly. Cailin tensed scared Maura would hit her.

"I'm sorry I had a rough day and took it out on you." Maura said softly.

They both looked down to the joint in Maura's hand. Cailin must have just started. It for it was still pretty long.

"I'm just…I…" Cailin began but couldn't finish. She looked down instead.

"You're stressed." Maura finished. Cailin nodded and sat there for a moment.

"I just needed to relax a little while studying." Cailin said.

"It's ok I'm not mad. I'm just upset that you did it in my house."

"I know but if I did it in my dorm I would have been in trouble."

"We'll you're in trouble here too."

"But not in jail. That'd be awful." Cailin laughed. Maura faked laughed. _It was and I don't want you to ever go there _Maura thought.

"Anyway. I get it."

"You do?"

"Be glad Jane isn't here she's not as forgiving."

"Yeah where is she anyway?"

"A date."

Cailin was going to say something but decided against it. She thought Maura and Jane were dating but apparently not.

"Maybe we both need to relax a little from our stresses." Maura said.

Cailin nodded, she didn't know about the case Maura was working on but knew it was particularly hard on her sister. Maura told Cailin to order pizza. Cailin called and put in the order.

"Whoa! That's some good shit. I haven't had this in years." Maura said.

Cailin turned around to see Maura smoking.

"I must be high as fuck." Cailin said. Maura told her to close her jaw. She did and sat next to Maura on the couch.

"What kind of shit is this?" Maura asked.

"Purple haze. I didn't get a lot."

"That's bitch shit what you need to get is white willow."

"That OG Kush."

"That jewelry cleaner."

"I see dragons on rainbows is that normal?"

"I don't think so."

"When's that damn pizza guy getting here?" Maura asked. Just then a doorbell rang. Cailin answered it and paid the man. She brought the food to Maura and they ate in silence.

"Maura, can I ask you something?"

"What?"

"Are you…well did you…umm"

"Cailin what in the hell do you want?"

"Did you do experiments in college?"

"Yeah I fucked women in college. I fucked them before that and I fuck them now." "Why?"

Cailin stared at Maura for a second. Maura just came out to her despite if she knew it or not. Cailin decided to drop it with an "I'm just wondering."

They ate some more and Maura was about to leave. She had told Cailin not to leave when Cailin thought of something. She hadn't had any since Maura took it from her.

"Um bitch puff puff pass."

"Heffa find your own weed. I'm going for a walk. Goodnight." Maura said before slamming the door.


End file.
